COVID Day 40: COVID Brain

We said goodbyes to 21 yo today, as her heart quit fighting COVID. I admitted her to ICU five days earlier. My travel co-worker, Kevin, was her nurse today. He and another guy did chest compressions for 45 min. Drenched in sweat under layers of plastic gowns, masks, face shields and hats.

After we stopped the code, everyone walked away. Disgusted, sad, angry, frustrated. Left alone with her body, equipment and supplies thrown all around the room, Kevin bowed his head over her. Frustration and anger ran through every cell of his body.

I walked back in. And silently started cleaning the room. Eventually he talked. Muffled under two masks and a shield. But he talked of what could’ve happened. What we might have done. But reality was, it was going to happen. We might’ve postponed a few days. But the outcome would’ve been the same.

We removed all the tubes and lines. Cleaned her. Sending prayers for her completely broken mother.

Back at the hotel, after very long showers, Kevin and I sat with a pizza and bottle of wine. Rehashing the events. THIS Interaction was such a gift! Normally health care workers just go home. We don’t share our stories with friends. It’s all confidential. The only people that really understand are other healthcare workers.

I want you to know the CDC continues to present COVID as a respiratory illness. But all the staff at this facility had different symptoms to begin with. More like flu symptoms. Severe headaches and dizziness. Or nausea and diarrhea. Some had a fever. Some didn’t. Our patients also typically started with GI symptoms. This young lady started with headaches.

I don’t post this with intentions of creating panic. Just awareness. Continue simply doing things to ensure a healthy immune system. Exercise, fresh air, stable sleep patterns, good foods, vitamins if you want. And social distance when you’re out there.

And take time to appreciate your friends and neighbors. Whether they wear masks or not. Whether they love all colors of people or not. We’re all in human bodies. Needing to connect with others. More now than ever!!