Quarantine DAY 48: Receiving is a Position Of VULNERABILITY

Relaxed in a massage/pedicure chair I’m aware of the vulnerability and trust it takes to receive a service like this.

Ten years ago I could not do this! At all. Ten years ago I believed any time I let down my guard, and allowed someone else to do things for me, it would turn ugly. Disappointment. Misunderstood. Rejected.

I was much better off taking care of myself. Providing everything I needed. I could trust Me to do an excellent job.

Of course with that belief, that is precisely what support would look like. Repeatedly. Yet I longed for real true acceptance and support for the unique human I was.

Not until I HAD to Receive, with a year long illness, did that belief finally unwind. I learned how to truly sit in receptive mode and ask for what I needed. With nothing to give to others. I just Received. Over and over and over again. And then. I learned to trust. To trust the intention of the services and gifts. The love and spirit they came with. No matter if it’s how “I would do it”.

I’m soaking in the service today. Just receiving